“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2–4, ESV)
It was still dark as the huskies, and I started our morning run. I had been having some digestive issues that would sometimes disrupt our ritual, but the symptoms had been subsiding over the last week, and I was feeling good. I felt so good that about a mile into the run, I thought about cancelling an appointment to see my primary care provider on the coming Tuesday. As fast as that thought came, God whispered, “You have cancer.”
My mind was flooded with concerns, Jamie, the kids, Southeast, and so much more. It took a minute, but in a way that only God can do through his steadfast love, his Spirit ushered in a hope that calmed my mind and gave peace to my heart. Over the next four miles I wept with Him, surrendering to his purposes.
I want to share with you how that conversation unfolded.
The first two thirds of the conversation can be summarized as, “It would have been enough.”
In the Jewish Passover meal there is a song, Dayenu. It means “It Would Have Been Enough.” The song recounts how God led the Hebrews out of Egypt, out of slavery, and into the promise land. The gist of the message is that if God had only done this part of the story, it would have been enough, but He did so much more. This is my story. God has been so good to me; His faithfulness is unending.
Despite my sin and my failings, God has blessed me with so much. My sins have been washed clean, and I have been made a new creation in Christ. I have a beautiful wife who is the embodiment of Proverbs 31. He has entrusted me with four amazing children. I have the honor and privilege to preach His Word every week and be part of a loving church family. What more could I ask for? His grace is overwhelming. If God takes my life in this moment, it would have been enough.
My prayer on that run was a prayer of gratitude, it is enough. I completely surrendered the situation to Him and his purposes. I felt the tension deep in my soul of being here for Jamie, the kids, and Southeast. But I also felt the security of being with Him in eternity should my life be cut short. As much as I love Jamie, the kids, and his church, I know that God loves them more.
If cancer would take my life, might this be the catalyst that would galvanize their faith? And isn’t that what is most important? My prayers have always been that Jamie, and the kids would be completely dependent on God’s grace and provision. That Southeast would continue to be the light in the darkness, proclaiming the grace of God.
None of these are mine. They are His and He has entrusted me to cherish and steward these relationships. Who am I to question Him if Ge decides my assignment is complete. Through tears I brought each of them before Him. I rejoiced over them with Him about who they are and are becoming. I grieved over them with Him about what it might look like if my time is over.
Father, I surrender to you.
Everything.
Jamie.
The kids.
Southeast.
My life is yours.
This cancer is yours.
However, you want to use this, I am your yours.
I surrender, completely to you.
After my heart was emptied, after everything was laid at His feet. The peace that only He can bring swept through my soul. I knew that God was shepherding this situation, and everything was going to be okay. And that peace has never left.
The last third of the conversation would be summarized as, “Answered prayers.”
On a typical morning, when I return from my morning run, I sit down with a cup of coffee, my bible, and my prayer journal. My prayer journal is divided into sections and there are items I pray for daily and other items I pray for on specific days of the week.
As God’s presence gave me peace, my tears subsided, and the conversation shifted from the circumstances of cancer to what God might do through the cancer. With every step along the trail, he showed me there is hope on the horizon. As clearly as I heard God say that I have cancer, I heard him say that this is how he was going to answer two of the prayers I have poured over in my prayer journal.
The first prayer is not one but many. I have a list of people I pray for daily who have never surrendered their life to Christ. They are still alienated from God and dead in their sins. Some are trapped in dead religion and others are living recklessly. I pray daily that the Spirit would stir their hearts, that they would be convicted of sin, and that God would reveal himself to them. My prayer is they would see He is a loving Father who is willing to take away their guilt and shame. My hope is they would understand He desires to give them eternal life and have a relationship with them.
I have prayed over this list of people so many times. Some of these people I have regular contact with, but the conversation about God has gone stale or is nonexistent. For others, I have little if any contact with them, but I pray that God would open the door. I am weak and I must admit that I have grown weary over these prayers. I am confident that God will answer them in his timing, but all I see are roads that lead to know where.
It has come to the point where I just look at the list and plead, “I don’t see how, Father. You have to do something. You have to break through the strongholds that keep these people from you. I am begging you, do something! You have to break in!” On that that morning run, he graciously gave me a glimpse of how he was going to answer this prayer, “This is how I’m breaking in.”
The second prayer is a daily prayer that comes from insecurity. When I look in the mirror, I see shortcomings and failings. I know that some of these are lies from Satan. However, I also know that I am so inadequate as a pastor. I am so very weak and am overwhelmed by the task God has set before me. I have learned over and over that I am nothing on my own.
I have become completely dependent on my morning prayer time with Jesus, the Good Shepherd. Specifically, my daily prayer is this: “Grant me wisdom and compassion. Help me shepherd people the way you shepherd people. Help me care for you flock well.” I have so much to learn, and God is so patient with me. This was the second prayer God answered on that morning run, “This will help you become a better shepherd.”
I finished my run in the usual way. I put the leashes away and filled up the water bucket for the huskies. I brewed my cup of coffee and settled in at the kitchen table with my Bible and prayer journal. The prayer I penned that morning is still my prayer today, “I trust you completely. My life is yours. I just want to bring you glory. I pray my witness leads people to you.”
That Tuesday I met with my primary care provider which led to a colonoscopy on the following Monday. When I woke up from the procedure the doctor met Jamie and me in the examination room. He told us what we already knew, “You have cancer.”
And so, the whirlwind began with bloodwork, scans, and doctor appointments. Lots of doctor appointments.
We and our Biltmore Church connect group are praying for you.
God bless you always!
Deanna and Jim
Thank you, Deanna! I am so grateful for the Church and your prayers!
Praise God! I’m so blessed and encouraged by your words of commitment, surrender, and faith. Prayers continue.
Thank you, Reenie. I am so glad we were able to chat the other day!
My sister-in-law (Richards twin brothers wife) is dying of cancer. They have hospice in now. Danelle has let me pray over her several times and truly believes God is in control over this. Please pray for her that her time here is peaceful and full of great memories and her passing is peaceful.
I’m praying for you and Jamie and the kids. I know Richard is in heaven a whole person once again and living in God’s Glory.
God is Good. Merry Christmas.
I am so sorry, Shelly. I am glad they are trusting in the Lord. Honestly, I don’t know how people go through this without him as Lord and Savior.
It makes me glad to know that Richard is with Christ!
Merry Christmas to you as well!
I love you brother, I can’t imagine what you and family are going through. I pray that our God will continue to fill your family with hope. I don’t know how but I do know God will use this for His Glory. Stay strong, listen to the doctors, I know whatever happens God loves you so so much.
Thank you, Mike!
Dear Mike,
I am so moved by your story and your trust in our Savior. I too am sustained by my daily Bible study and was reading that when Jesus asked “ Do you love me” He then directed to care and shepherd His sheep. You have done this in your life, you have answered the Lords calling, and I agree that this will make you a better shepherd. In the sense that when we face our true state as human beings we also see how completely Jesus knows and loves us and provides for us by His Grace and by the power of the Holy Spirits guidance. Our relationship is closer and I am so encouraged by reading your story as you truly are a man following the Lord. Patty and I will be praying for your your healing of this cancer fully.
I admire you Mike, may the Lord bless you.
Steve Horton
Thank you for the kind words, Steve. I so very much love and appreciate you and Patty!
Thank you, Pastor Mike for your words. You continue to minister even when things are really tough. My family sends all of our prayers for your healing, and our love to your family. I know that God gives us the strength to make it through all of this, and you’ve got it, Pastor.🙏😊. We love you.
Thank you, Teri! YOU are an encouragement to me!
So sorry to hear about your health. Dick and I walked the road of cancer. Dick had 5 cancers. He went to Heaven 4 years ago. The last cancer that he had was MDS.
Cancer is such a difficult road. I am glad that Dick is with Lord now. I long for the day when Revelation 21 & 22 come to fulfillment!
Praying for you and your family always, your blog post are very inspiring to me.
Thank you, Anissa!
Pastor Mike,
I admire your God-fearing love for Christ! Your peace in times of troubles. Your love and compassion for your family, and the church. Thank you for showing us all what a man of God looks like! Much love & blessings!
JJ Allen
Thank you, JJ!
Oh my goodness, Mike! Jessica told me she ran in to you guys today and who you had chosen for your doctor!! You are in the most capable and competent hands in the valley. I’ve been thinking about you guys and will continue to follow your journey.
You are an inspiration in your faith and I admire your conviction. May God Bless You and your beautiful family. Take Care! Kathy (Mair) Baier.
Thank you, Kathy!
Yes, Dr. Whisenant is great! He seems to always be one step ahead!
Mike
I thank you for sharing this deeply personal message with the world and anyone else you would listen..
Mike you hold very special place in my heart and always will I had the privilege of having you baptize me as I read dedicated my life to Christ in 2011 as a part of Warrenton Christian Church during your time there
I remember one Sunday sitting in church you were particularly burdened for the congregation and you asked us do I make a difference from this pulpit. You went on to challenge us as a congregation not to get too comfortable in the chairs we were sending him to go out and share the good news for Jesus Christ with anyone who would listen
Or the story you shared about the student I Columbine who shielded her friend from the gunman’s bullets with her own body making the ultimate sacrifice asking us would we make the same ultimate sacrifice his sons and daughters of Christ?
Well I’m here to tell you we do listen to what you have to say as a pastor I always have been really always will even though neither one of us are at warranton Christian Church anymore Your impact continues to make a difference in people’s lives most of all mine
I saw this phrase from a former boss in an email to the team one day it’s simply said thank you for being a difference maker
I carry that with me and I thank people for being a difference maker all the time sometimes people look at me weird others it has a profound impact on them the grocery store clerk who never gets thanked waitress is having a bad day and gets a $2 tip
Mike I want to thank you for being a difference maker in my life for making a mark on my heart that never can be removed because of Jesus Christ because of our shared love of Jesus Christ
As someone with a physical disability who has taught to never give up who has been marked by Jesus Christ as his son
I’m asking you to continue to fight and I give up p Jesus never give up when he was able to l the cross So I say you can’t either
Continue to leave the mark of Jesus Christ wherever you go and I’m here to let you know you do make a last name impact and we do listen from the pulpit And yes it matters
God bless you and your family
Eric Barton
Seaside Oregon
Mike just heard about your cancer. God is faithful and will be with you throughout this time. Since I was in India with so many friends, after 2024 things to go wrong. I fractured my pelvis falling in a parking lot May 1. Then July 23 I fell into our bathroom shower and injured my C6 vertebra in my neck. Then at the end of July I fell coming into our house and sat on my foot fracturing my ankle. Life for me right now is having my husband being my caretaker. I rejoice in who God is through all of this. I tell people Jesus is the joy of my strength. He is my all and i trust Him to be my healer. My ankle is still not better and I still wear a brace on it. Our children and grands are very helpful. Praise the Lord. Will be praying for you. Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year. ❤️
May the Lord lift you up with His loving healing hands and hold you close to His heart. May He give you and your family amazing strength and peace that surpasses understanding. ❤️🙏✝️🙏❤️